I am not proud to say it but my children watch a fair amount of TV. I am not proud to say it but I know the CBeebies schedule off by heart and often plan my routine around it. However, despite my middle-class guilt I do believe there is no shame in enjoying what the BBC so caringly provide for us parents. I salute their worthy encouragement – pushing my children to use their imaginations, to increase their vocabulary, to boost their knowledge of the world, to look around themselves, to care for the environment – all while passively watching Wussywat. And at least my bourgeois heart can rest assured that a healthy wholemeal dose of CBeebies is a zillion times better than the sugar-saturated, advert-laden Milkshake (Channel Five) crammed full of crap and teeth-grindingly bad presenters feeding off the unending popularity of Peppa Pig.
Occasionally when the world becomes too much and I need a simpler outlook on life I find myself tuning into (or indeed zoning out to) CBeebies. The following is what enters my head while I am slack on the sofa, eyes gazing unseeing at the screen.
Let’s Go Club – Who commissioned this? Dear BBC why don’t you just call it Why Don’t You? and have done with it?
Peter Rabbit – I wonder if I can decorate my house in the style of Mrs Rabbit’s hollow tree. The same goes for Bing, Tilly and Friends and Kazoops.
My Pet and Me – Why are the presenters singing the theme tune? Why? Not enough auto-tune in the world…
Katie Morag – Could I pull off a welly/kilt combo? Dungarees like Grannie Island? Fair Isle sweater like mum. Or a red beanie like Neilly Beag?
Andy’s Prehistoric Adventures – How did inept Andy get promoted to head of department at the Natural History Musuem..ahem..National Museum? Especially since he is always disappearing while at work. Not so fond of Andy in his management role. He seems to have lost his charm some how. And yet despite this I am still mildly jealous of Jen.
Get Well Soon – Eyebrows. Just eyebrows.
Spot Bots – What has Mr Bloom done to be so shockingly demoted to a non-speaking part as a weird wizard and a creepy merman? I mean that is a severe career downturn for sure. And that robot mum, her voice is so familiar… ah, yes thank you Google – Dinner Date voiceover lady.
Justin’s House – What does Robert the Robot look like without a silver face. According to Mumsnet this is a popular thought. Thank Goodness I am not alone in my perversions.
Minibeast Adventure with Jess – Stop. Whispering. At. Me.
And then before I know it it’s time to get up and make tea (to be served after Peter Rabbit, of course) and then off with the box. Unless it’s Friday and Charlie and Lola is on. That is my absolute favourite!
What do you think about when you think about CBeebies? We’d love to hear your thoughts.