I’ll admit it – I enjoy being a stay at home mum. I get to spend time with my kids, do the housework and I never ever get to use my brain. Er…actually I don’t really like the last one. I think I used to be quite bright, but I’m not sure anymore ‘cos I haven’t thought about anything other than what to make for tea for such a long time. As a result I am pretty dumb alot of the time. However, I reckon buried deep in my dumbness is wisdom. The Wisdom of Motherhood.
Short Attention Span
Before I had the twins I could sit down and read a book for hours on end (and actually recall what I had read!) or while away the day sewing or making an elaborate meal. Now I can only concentrate on any given task for 20 minutes maximum. I blame my short attention span on too much CBeebies and constant interruptions. I start things and never finish them, I can only read childrens’ books (Flat Stanley is great btw), I can’t watch any TV show with a complicated, fast-moving plot, I get easily distracted.
However, I can do six things at the same time (OK, I may not be doing them to the best of my ability, but give me a break). At the moment I am typing this, putting a plaster on a poorly finger, making porridge and watching Postman Pat. Multi-tasking mum – a force to be reckoned with!
Saying Stupid Things
Why do I say such idiotic things as “Mummy kiss it better”? Even my two year olds look at me as if I’m a simpleton when I do. Or things like “Don’t beat your sister with Peppa Pig, she doesn’t like it!” because who would like being pummelled with a plastic pig?
Through the ages mums have been know to say stupid things and then pass them on to the next generation. Therefore this must be received wisdom, passed down from mother to mother in an unending cycle.
…sorry..what was I saying? I got distracted by the recycling and an episode of Bing…
Referring to Myself in the Third Person
Why do mummy’s do this? There must be some deep psychological reason or else we’re all just wannabe contestants for The Apprentice (Meet the Muminator).
I have the following conversation 12 times a day.
“Because mummy says so!!!”
Apparently the Dalai Lama uses the third person to talk about himself and I think he’s pretty wise and enlightened.
Pointing Out the bleedin’ Obvious
You know what it’s like, you see a tractor, you say “look, tractor!” as if it is a weird phenomena, not a daily occurrence. Things I am most likely to point out include, diggers, roadrollers, workmen, cement mixers, pink cars and farm animals. This has become so ingrained and will do it whether or not the children are there ( apologies to the people on the train carriage who heard me blurt out “sheep” when I was travelling alone).
This annoying foible has however made me extremely observant. If I was ever witness to a crime I could recount the exact number of vehicles, animals or pastel coloured cars at the scene. That’s a skill money can’t buy.
Now where was I before you interrupted me?
How has motherhood changed you? Let us know.